Cutting onshore winds
from ocean chill me to the bone
drive me to walk
along harbor’s side.
Winter trees there
and land calm sharp gusts
offer me shelter.
Bright sun – blue
calm water –low tide
invite me to walk
Curving shore line –
brown sand – white bleached sand
sea gulls looking for
food in newly freed earth
rocks – old stone
walls – bricks uncovered in low tide
leafless bushes –
islands in the distance – all populate my walking.
A few humans like me
are daydreaming – taking it all in.
Low tide changed
contours of shore
things once hidden,
Is not journey of my
life like the zigzagging shore line?
So many events –
currents – movements
some painful – others
My life – a big
mystery like rising and falling of the tides
tides open up
surprises – then cover them up.
Silence permeates ebb
and flow of water
shore is silent.
Silence covers it all
– embraces all.
I feel it
silence of my Beloved
– silence of God.
In ebb and flow of
in ebb and flow of my
He stands next to me –
will not let go. I am not alone.
Mystery of my life –
mystery of the sea
mystery of my Beloved
He has a guiding hand
– invisible hand – warm and firm.
Hand of God!
CONFIDENCE IN GOD
In the summertime, we might have
more time to reflect on our life and where it is going. Our schedules may slow
down and we can think of our prayer life of contemplation and where it is
leading us. In our meditation, we have our discipline of prayer and attempt to
touch God’s presence by repeating the mantra and watching our breathing in and
out. Of course, there are always distractions, worries about our life and its
many facets and the constant tumult of the world and its wars. But we put those
thoughts behind us and again return to our mantra and breathing. This constant
putting aside the many distractions, worries and cares that come into our
prayer is a sign that God is more important in our life than the many concerns
we have about the present and the future. For twice a day for twenty minutes
each time, we set our sights on the Lord because He is the primary object of
our life and guides us. We have confidence that the rest of life with its cares
and worries is not important as the Divine.
This putting behind us and away the worries
and concerns of our daily living and those of the world reminds us of the
teaching of Jesus. In the gospel of St. Matthew, the Lord tells us to put aside
our constant worries about having enough to eat and drink and clothes for our
bodies. He mentions that life is more than these material concerns.These worries are basically about survival
and Jesus in his teaching tells us that life is more than survival. Rather we
have to concentrate on the Kingdom of God and its justice and the Lord will
provide for the rest. This is quite a challenge for us because we are immersed
in the world, can be sucked into its dynamic of desire for material things and
security, etc. and be overwhelmed with the injustices and wars around us. It
will take a life time for us to put aside these concerns and fix our sights on
the Kingdom of God and grow in such confidence that Jesus proposes to us.
Our contemplative prayer where we
put aside these concerns of our material life and the world requires a trust.
We have to grow in the belief that God is there for us and will never let us
out of his sight. In the gospel, Jesus tells us to look how his Father takes
care of the lilies of the fields, the grass and birds.If this is so, He will extend to us the same
care. Jesus exhorts us not to worry about tomorrow since it will take care of
itself. This is one of the challenges that we face over the years; we are to be
faithful to our daily meditation where the focus is on the Lord. Our
relationship with Him will grow. Our love will deepen and so to the confidence
of His care which Jesus promises us. This is an important horizon of our life
and if we are persistent in growing in this, a peace will come within us. We
will not be torn in every direction but keep our sights on Jesus and His
promise who then will guide the boat of our life to a safe landing.
As we enter into summer time, it may be an occasion
for us to enter more deeply into our understanding where our life is going.
Summer can bring on a slowing down of our schedule and commitments so that we
can take a breather from our many activities.
Those of us who live in these big modern cities, the never ending
schedule of many meetings, telephone calls and commitments overwhelm us – so
many things to do. I myself look forward to a break where there is more time
for myself, enjoying the summer garden and taking a ride to the seashore. This
slowing of our schedule can be a time to deepen our understanding of
contemplation and the meaning to our meditating for twenty minutes each day. Our
daily contemplation takes us on a mystical journey to an encounter to meet
someone, the Divine. We are not thinking about deep theological issues or the
dogmas of our faith. Rather it is a journey and quest to have an experience of
God’s presence in silence.
In the quiet of contemplative
prayer, we are entering into a new level of consciousness. We leave behind the
rational world of our daily living and enter into a new way to experience
reality. We reject our self-orientated way of living where our ego is the center
of attention. The quest in contemplation opens us up to a newer way of seeing
things and living due to our contact with God. Slowly we begin to see things as
the Lord sees them and who invites us into have a relationship of love. We
realize that we are being loved by someone and it is imperative to us to
respond to this with reciprocal love. We are now not enamored of our ego and its
needs and importance but our life is now orientated around our love
relationship with our Beloved.
This new way of living and our
understanding of it are very important and can help us orientate our life in a
more authentic way. We will not find real happiness and meaning if we are just
concerned with our material success and prosperity in society. This is a big
temptation because the material world and its attractions are overwhelming with
the mass media; it constantly bombards us with messages and images to
participate more in consumer society. This causes unhappiness and restlessness
since these things cannot really fulfill our deepest needs as humans. There are
other dimensions which need to be fulfilled and answered. Our journey into
contemplative prayer leads us to the center of our human spirit where we
encounter the spirit of God in silence and darkness. It is a path to the love
of the Lord around which then we orientate our existence. It does not mean that
the problems of our personal life and those of the world will disappear but we
will put them into perspective which then gives us a sense of hope and
security. Our life then is in the hands of Someone who loves us and takes our
hand to lead us through the years.
If we read the lives of the great
mystics who lived before us, this is the discovery which they made in their
prayer and contemplation. In the silence of meditation, they met Someone at
their center and still point which opened up for them a new way of existence.
Today through the contemplative prayer movements, we are lead to the same path;
we do not have to live in a monastery. We are now living in a ‘monastery
without walls’ where we receive the invitation of the Lord to travel the same
mystical journey. We do not have to look around in the world to meet this
presence of the Divine but to travel within ourselves, to our center and still
point. Here we meet the spirit of God who is our Beloved. The slowing down of
our schedule in the summer time can be an occasion for us to take stock of this
opportunity and grow in authentic living.
In the spring of 2011, I made a
pilgrimage of silence to Castilla y
where the two great mystics, John of the Cross and Theresa of Avila lived and
died. It was a pilgrimage of silence in so far that in visiting these holy
sites and spaces, I was lead into contemplation trying to touch the presence of
the divine at my center and still point. I did not bring along books to read
but did bring one of the poems of John of the Cross. While on the trip, I read slowly his major
poems which helped me focus on the presence of the divine. The poem of John, ‘A
Dark Night,’ helped me feel that this inward journey of contemplation to meet
God at our center and still point is one that is always wrapped in mystery. It
leads us to an encounter with God who is transcendent and completely other from
ourselves and the natural world around us. In that sense, it is very different
from relationships we have with other humans. In spite of this dimension of
transcendence and otherness, this relationship is much closer and deeper to us
than other relations can be. In human relationships, the other is always in
front of us and exterior to us. But in this encounter in contemplation and
silence, we feel the divine presence deep within us where no one else can
enter. So this relationship has a dimension of mystery and darkness which John
of the Cross so well celebrates in his poem. We note also that although this
relationship is completely different from our ordinary experiences, it is an
encounter of love where the divine touches and reminds us that He/She loves us
and asks us to respond to this invitation.
As John of the Cross so well puts, it is an encounter in darkness but
one that is also burning with fire of love. We are meeting our Beloved who
takes us by the hand and asks us to respond with our love. While I was on
pilgrimage to Segovia
where John lived and is buried, his poem about the dark night was always
present to me and helped me feel the presence of the divine within me.
On this pilgrimage also to Castilla
y León, I made it a point to visit several Marian shrines with statues of the
Black Madonna and I wanted to enter more into their symbolism. Statues of the
Black Virgin are all over Europe and are
centers of pilgrimage for many people. I was able to visit such statues in the
Basilica of Our Lady of Atocha in Madrid.
I made a trip also to Toledo
and in the cathedral, I visited the chapel of Our Lady of the Sanctuary and the
beautiful statue of the ‘La Virgen Blanca.’ These two statues are very famous
and attract many visitors to the church. I sat in meditation in front of these
and the dark complexion of the mother and child had an aura of mystery. Because
the faces and skin were black, I had the feeling that the Virgin was leading us
into the mystery of the dark night that John of the Cross speaks about in his
poem. With this dark color of the face and skin, Mary directs us in our inward
journey to meet the transcendent God who is completely other than we are but
loves us and wants to have our friendship. I believe that these Black Madonna
pilgrim shrines not only in Europe but in many
places in the world attract people for this reason. Darkness is a symbol which draws and leads us
into mystery of God to whom we want to orientate our life. Our daily life is
full of many things, interests, occupations, concerns, etc, and it is a
challenge to find the central focus which will push our life in the right
direction. This focus is God and we have the challenge through our faith and
prayer to know and love God better so that the divine can be the center of our
activities and relationships and put them into the right direction. This is the
challenge of our life and the Black Madonna is in these pilgrimage shrines
reaching out to many people and assisting them in this journey of faith.
The color black is also symbolic of
the earth and fertility which are deep human realities. We come from the earth and our mother’s womb.
Looking at the Black Madonna, we ask her to help us with the many problems of
our life and the world we live in. In a pilgrimage, we go to a holy space where
we have a special encounter with the divine.
We bring the problems and cares of our daily life back home to this holy
place asking God his help with these things. The Black Madonna celebrated and
honored at these particular shrines can be an intercessor in this regard.
In conclusion, in making the
pilgrimage of silence to Castilla y León, I am always drawn to visit the place
where John of the Cross lived and is buried.
I read his poems which set the tone for the trip and this year, I read
many times his poem ‘In a Dark Night.’ We are on an inward journey of contemplation
to meet God in silence and darkness. It is a meeting of love where the divine
invites us into a relationship of friendship.
This year, I also coupled this pilgrimage with a visit to three chapels
with statues of the Black Madonna. The darkness of the statues exudes mystery
and invites us to take the hand of Mary who will lead us into the presence of
the transcendent God who awaits our friendship.
Since this is a journey to meet God who is completely other and different,
we must be content to make this trip in mystery and darkness. The poems of John
of the Cross and the statues of the Black Madonna will help us find our way to
this beautiful meeting with the Lord.
we enter into the Easter season, we pass through the time of Lent with fasting
and penance reminding us of how Jesus suffered on the cross. We then experience the feast of His
Resurrection and we are called to share in His victory and the light of Easter
morning which the holy women experienced when they went to His tomb. This
passage of going from darkness into light is a symbol of our life in the
world. Certainly, we look around us and
see the many injustices and violence and we realize that these things are what
Jesus came to correct. The Christian churches share in this darkness and are
having a hard time to adjust to the modernity of today. They still feel more comfortable in the
medieval way of thinking and acting as such and many of the church structures
are dying and fading away. The de-Christianization of Western Europe continues
on without abatement. In these United States, we see also the decline of many
church structures; 30% of people under the age of 30 do not believe in God.
This country is about 50 years behind Western Europe in this regard. Latin
America and the Caribbean nations are quickly converting to the Pentecostal
Churches and these are also spreading in Africa and many parts of Asia bringing
a birth and rebirth of Christianity there.
these changes in the churches and the world cause us confusion and concern but
there is also a hopeful sign in all of this. Since the 1960’s in Western Europe
and the Americas, we are experiencing the rebirth in Western Christianity of
contemplative and mystical prayer. This rebirth happened when religious leaders
of the West, like Thomas Merton, Thomas Keating, the German Zen leaders, etc., discovered
the Christian mystical prayer tradition that had been lost since the
Reformation. It was a silent revolution that entered the churches. This
reentrance of contemplative prayer was and is being led by ordinary men and
women who live in the world making their living and raising their families. The
many and different contemplative prayer movements are basically lay people who
are living the silent and contemplative movement in their daily lives. They are
building and participating in monasteries without walls. It is a silent
revolution that is making its presence felt in the various Christian communities
and is a source of optimism because through this prayer, Christians are
encountering in a deep way the Lord Jesus who is ultimately the source of
salvation for ourselves and the world we live in.
we get discouraged with the problems of our world which seem to be unsolvable
and the immobility of many Christian churches to face the challenges of today,
we know that through our prayer we are in touch with the source of redemption,
Jesus. In our prayer life, we develop a deep relationship with Him who will
transform us and we can be that light in the world which is so needed. Those
fruits of the Spirit that the scriptures speak about – love, peace, joy,
patience, kindness, goodness, fidelity, gentleness and self-control, which we manifest
in our lives will be noticed by the people around us. Hopefully they will show
to our neighbors and communities a new way to live and act in the world.
Through our contemplative prayer, we are participating in the silent revolution
which can make a difference in the way we live. In this Easter season we remember
the victory of Jesus and His Resurrection, the light and hope He brings to us.
We need not be stuck in the darkness of our world and the stuttering of the Christian
churches. We are faithful to our discipline of silence in meditating twice a
day knowing that ultimately it will make a difference in our life and that of
the world. Jesus brings us this light on Easter morning - our source of hope.
Although predicted, no sun comes
out. Something draws me to
walk outside – I miss sunshine
but feel drawn to walk. Cool damp
air wraps around me. Keep on walking –
quiet of neighborhood touches
me – I feel something – deep –
Modern life – big cities –
full of noise – we have busy
Today in the neighborhood –
silence reigns – mysterious –
One can say – silence
is empty – nothing there.
But walking slowly – listening –
feeling something is there –
I have to stop once in a while –
look – listen –not to look – hear
sport’s racing cars. Walking in the
quiet, I am in another wave
length. Slowing down – listening –
I feel myself – my heart beating
see winter trees – standing bare
– at attention.
Silence prompts me to write this
trying to put into words –
what seems to be nothing –
If I listen closely – stand still
I feel a meeting – silence has a
presence – presence of the
My life slows down – someone
else comes in.
Let me to be open to this meeting
someone tells me – the Lord loves
watches over me – fills silence
with my gratitude.
BOREDOM IN PRAYER
Winter can be a difficult. In the
Northeast of the United States this year, we have had a tough time with much
snow and cold. Life becomes very heavy and we get depressed with the endless
snow and bad weather. In our contemplative prayer and our fidelity to the
discipline of praying twice for twenty minutes daily, the same kind of boredom
and restlessness can enter in. Despite
the best of our intentions, we get discouraged with the feeling that we are not
making progress in our contemplative path. We sit down to pray and we have endless
distractions. Our mind wanders all over
the place. Spiritual things that used to give us much consolation now dry up.
They do not have the same attraction for us. We are not satisfied with our
prayer experience. We sense that we are not making progress and do not know
what to do about it.
This sense of dryness and lack of
progress can be worse because we are living in the modern world with its
possibility to always present to us new things and distractions. In fact, we
are bombarded with so many things each day through the many channels of
communication that we can be overwhelmed with stuff coming at us. Our cellular
phones and other social applications can constantly bring us news,
advertisements, conversations with people, etc. that there is no time for
boredom. All these things are at our finger tips and easy to get. This is so
different from our journey in prayer where there are times of boredom and
dryness. We get used to have so many things at our finger tips and now in
contemplative prayer, we sit in silence waiting to be touched by God’s
presence. We have the sense that we are doing nothing so what is the use of all
our effort. We are accustomed to do many things so that we can grow in life and
be rewarded by our activities. Now we sit doing ‘nothing’ which is so
We will carry these negative feelings
during our life and have to see how we can overcome them with a vision of what
is happening in our contemplative prayer. We go beyond them by realizing whom
we are encountering in silence. We are approaching God who is source of all in
life. It is not like meeting ordinary people in our social life. With our
perseverance in prayer, we enter more deeply into the divine and grow in wonder
about whom we are meeting. Our attempts to enter into this presence over the
years become the paramount experience in our life. This sense of importance then helps us
overcome our disappointments with the dryness and the feeling of a dead end
street. Despite the darkness and restless within us, this encounter with the
divine is the experience which is central to us and gives our time on earth its
direction and meaning. We are called to a relationship of love with the Lord.
He is knocking at our door and wants to come into our life as our beloved. This
love then is central to our life and overcomes the sense of wandering in our
human journey. The Lord extends his hand and leads us on our challenging
journey during the years. This invitation from the divine which we get in
prayer is the way we overcome our dryness and boredom. We gently ignore these negative
things and fix our intention on who is calling us. We will grow in wonder in what
is happening in this deep relationship with God and try our best to answer with
our fidelity to our discipline of silence despite the dryness and boredom through
which we have to wander. We will overcome these negative experiences and walk
faithfully and grow through the years in our love relationship with the Lord.
driving – two days of peace –
silence – meditation.
Quiet – stunning spot – water
Chesapeake Bay. Air is still –
gentle breeze is silent. Rich green pine
trees – those of Cézanne
stand at attention – do not move
enchanted by the sunshine –
Such is our life – endless
running around -
life in the big city. Many things
to do –
hopefully good. But like the long trip,
one has to slow down – stop!
Touch deeper down things!
My life is not exhausted by these
activities – good as they may be.
In quiet – silence – woods
there is a meeting – mysterious –
human touching divine – two
lovers meeting – holding hands.
Strange – silent meeting stronger
all the noisy activity in the
Sacred silence is where my real
life is -
more real than running
around the big city. My beloved
my hand – will lead me through
ups – downs of city life –
helping me make
it a better place –lead the ship
my life to a good – safe – final
‘PRESENCE’ IN THE CONTEMPLATIVE PATH
I sleep but my soul
I hear my beloved who
knocks at the door.
Song of Songs, 5:3
At the heart of the
contemplative journey is the sense and realization that a presence has entered
our life. Without us necessarily looking for it, we are gently touched by
Someone. In the midst of our ordinary
life and activities, in a peaceful moment of walking in nature or a visit to a
quiet chapel or in other moments of pause, we experience this. It comes into
our life as a robber in the dark of night unannounced nor sought by us. Someone touches us at our center. As time goes
on, we experience this presence more deeply and frequently, we feel that there
is a deep sweetness to this advent and a desire on our part to experience it
more. This presence revealing itself in my ordinary life is a mystery and has
an uncommon element to it. It appears at
the center of my being, closer to myself than perhaps anyone can be or even
closer to myself that I am. On the other
hand, despite this immanence, I cannot grasp it; there is an aura of mystery to
it and it is something ineffable.
Contemplatives and mystics through the ages have
written about this presence at the human center. They were overwhelmed by it at the depth to
their person and found with time that their whole life revolved around it. John
of the Cross stated this well in the opening lines of his poem, ‘The Flame of
O living flame of love
That so tenderly wounds
My soul at its deepest
is a personal reality who is calling the contemplative to friendship. We realize also that this presence has taken the
initiative to reveal itself to us. We
did not look for it but in its own mysterious way, it has made its
appearance. It has touched us in the
deepest spiritual sense. In experiencing this presence, mystics are living at
the center of all religion, that is, in the mystery of the absolute reality and
its being the true root of all human experience. It is a reality transcendent to us and to the
other things in the world but also immanent to us. The question of who God is
and who we are become related because the presence is at our center. We cannot
answer the question of our identity if we do not take into account this reality
and its call to us.
If we quietly listen to this call, we see that we
are being wooed by the Lord. He is at the center of our person because He loves
us and wants us to love Him. As Julian
of Norwich so beautifully said, “God loves us and delights to be in our
presence, He wants us to love Him and delight to be in His presence, and all is
well.” John of the Cross stated the same in his poem ‘The Flame of Love’
my heart where you secretly dwell
your delightful breath
glory and good will,
soothingly do you woo me!
we reflect on this verse, it stuns us that the divine is wooing us in our
contemplation to a meeting in silence and darkness so that the Lord can entice
us to love Him. He reveals Himself to us
and calls us to enter into the rapture of His love. As time goes on, we realize
that we are no longer the center of our life with its desires and the
importance of our ego; our life now is centered on the divine and we are
subject to it. We realize that we cannot become our true self and grow into our
true depth if we do not give ourselves to it. This whole relationship with the
presence of God within us is a difficult one because we can never grasp the
transcendent who is always beyond and transcendent to us. The mystics rightly
say that we can know and experience the divine only in silence and the night.
The center of our life and the question of our identity are related to the Lord
whom we can never grasp but whom we can only desire. As time goes on, the question of desiring God
becomes paramount in our lives because this is how we can touch Him/Her.
The advent of the presence of the
divine in our contemplative path sets up conflicts within us. First, it calls us to change and struggle
against our selfishness and pride, things also afflicting all humans. It is a hard struggle and one lasting all our
life. Secondly, as the Lord’s presence grows to dominate us, we lose our taste
for and liking for many things of life, such as, our work, hobbies, art, etc.,
and look forward to being in the quiet and silence of this presence. Thirdly,
the traditional ways of our praying with many words and thoughts give way to a
prayer where we quietly sit saying nothing or repeating our mantra. We are just
there. This is a big change and it will
time for us to get used to it. Also, we
may lose our liking and interest in the more ritual and ceremonial aspects of
religion and find that our religious and prayer life is centered on the quiet
experiencing of the divine presence. All the above three changes impact on us
and change our life as we grow in our contemplative path.
In sum, this immediate but obscure
experience of God’s presence in our life is the center of the contemplative and
mystical paths. This is what we are
called to and how the Lord calls and reveals Himself to us. It is something we
did not ask for but it came into our life.
Many of the mystics referred to the metaphor of the spiritual sense of
touch to describe this advent. St. John of the Cross in his poem ‘The Flame of
Love’ described it as ‘a gentle touch.’ The touch is real but it also a
mysterious one because the divine is transcendent and ineffable to us. It encourages
us to enter more into this mystery and presence. The first two lines of the poem “The Dark
Night” of John of the Cross sum up this desire:
On a dark night,
Afflicted and aflame with
As a deer yearns for running water,
so my soul thirsts for you, O Lord.