LIFE
– A ROLLERCOASTER
Robert Trabold
Life can be a rollercoaster.
so many things to do
decisions to be made
some successful, other not.
Recent weeks have been a
rollercoaster. Work outside
work inside – upstairs –
downstairs
list gets longer – not shorter.
I feel the pressure lays
on my body. Feel my nerves
frayed – high pitch.
I cannot turn off the radio.
Came to the seashore
looked for calm – beauty
fresh air- breeze – dunes
sand – quiet.
I talk to Jesus – put the
load on Him. He will he[p
me carry all of this – help me
make the right decisions.
I cannot ask for too much
clarity in life. There are
burdens.
I have to be calm
try my best – hope in Jesus.
Like the ocean in front of me
vast – incomprehensible
so is life. Comes in waves – some
knock me down –others no.
Let me be calm
take Jesus’ hand. Walk
with Him. He will get me
through the storms.
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CONTEMPLATIVE LIFE STYLE
Robert Trabold
Since I am in now a stage of
semi-retirement, space has opened up for me to build a more contemplative
dimension into my life. I have had this element for many years becoming
pronounced in my college years. Now however, with my schedule opening up and my
time not so constricted by a work routine, I have attempted to build time and
activities to allow me to enter more deeply into contemplative prayer. This new
freedom has allowed me to meditate twice a day for twenty minutes each time. I
have created a small corner of the house with a statue and pictures which give
me a sense of peace to enter into a spirit of prayer. I play soft mystical
music in the background helping me calm down. I have a large garden connected
with my house and in the warm season, I meditate there. The quiet and beauty of
the flowers help me focus on the presence of God within me. Luckily, I live not
far away from the seashore at Jones
Beach and I go there once
or twice a week immersing myself in the silence and beauty of the ocean side
allowing me to experience the presence of God. Important also is spiritual
reading. I try to keep my eyes open for
good books on spirituality and contemplative prayer helping me understand
better the dynamics of prayer and the intimacy to which God calls me and
motivating me to be faithful with the spiritual routine despite the periods of
dryness that inevitably come.
I am active in the John Main
Meditation Movement giving me opportunities to pray with others in group
sessions and share with them. This is very encouraging because prayer has times
of dryness and we wonder where we are going – back or forward. Being with these
movement people allows me to discuss contemplative spirituality and this sharing
is an enriching experience. It deepens my understanding of the spiritual
journey we are on. I write contemplative poetry and articles on spirituality. I
have done extensive reading in mystical prayer and the writing of articles on
this topic allows me to share this knowledge with the people who read the
spiritual magazines and newsletters that print my material. The writing of
contemplative poetry helps me deepen my grasp of the prayer experience. Since
much of my poetry is deals with the experience of the presence of the divine
within me and in my encounter with it in nature, such as the garden and the
seashore, the process of writing the poems helps me grasp better the encounter
that I have with the Lord. I try to put into words, images, symbols, etc, the
closeness and intimacy I feel in prayer.
Our contemplative prayer life should
also encourage us to express itself in service to the people around us. For a
good deal of my life, I have been a social activist participating in various
social movements. I live in New York
City and am the head of a local neighborhood
organization which I founded to control overdevelopment and so keep the quality
of life we would like to have. For many years, I have been active in various
peace movements working to resolve and end wars around the globe and
particularly right now in the Middle East .
These activities are supportive because our contemporary world has many social
and economic problems and at times, one feels like giving up. The whole world
looks hopeless. At this point, I feel my contemplative prayer is very helpful;
I get the strength and commitment to continue to be of service to the world and
people in these social movements. God gives us the strength not to give up and
to work for the greater justice and peace that Jesus promises to give us.
Another dimension of my
contemplative apostolate is the reading of my poetry at various events where
poets are invited to present their writings. At times, I feel self conscious
because not many people write for and read contemplative poetry to a secular
audience. I have found to my surprise the audience does respond positively to
my writing perhaps encouraging them to grow in their quest for God. One good
sign is that the literary journals of these local groups publish my poetry.
Hopefully then, the people who read these journals will be touched by my
writings.
In conclusion, we contemplatives are
on an inward journey to encounter God at our center and still point. I try to
develop a discipline of silence in my life so as to find space for and grow in
contemplative prayer. I am hopeful that it will give me the strength and
perseverance to continue to be active in various social movements giving our
world more justice and peace.
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