Pilgrimage into the Dark Night

HOLY SPACE

John of the Cross

Holy space – John of the Cross

worked here – burial place also.

I feel his presence – still here –

listens to the pilgrims. We come

worried – carrying our luggage

from back home.  We – pulled

in many directions – What do we want?

What can we get? What cannot we get?

Life has many crossroads –

not always to our liking –

things do not always turn out as we want.

Life is beyond us – it slips

through our fingers like sand.

But I made this pilgrimage – wanted

to be in this holy space. Someone is

here – a presence – listens – knows me.

I leave my luggage from back home here and listen.

What does that someone have to say?

John of the Cross – mystic – saint – loved

his Beloved – Jesus – with a passion.

His poetry sings of this – John was

able to sort out what was important – not important.

What Jesus wanted – John wanted.

I am sure not always to his liking –

such is life.

He knew Jesus as his Beloved –

who loved John – never let him down.

In this holy space – pilgrimage –

John will speak to me – lead me –

lead me to Jesus – into the stillness of God

who will put the luggage of my life

in the right place –

a job never finished on earth.

Giving me that peace – knowing - 

I am in the right hands –

despite it all.

                                                     ----------------------------

PILGRIMAGE INTO THE DARK NIGHT

Robert Trabold

            In the spring of 2011, I made a pilgrimage of silence to Castilla y León, Spain where the two great mystics, John of the Cross and Theresa of Avila lived and died. It was a pilgrimage of silence in so far that in visiting these holy sites and spaces, I was lead into contemplation trying to touch the presence of the divine at my center and still point. I did not bring along books to read but did bring one of the poems of John of the Cross.  While on the trip, I read slowly his major poems which helped me focus on the presence of the divine. The poem of John, ‘A Dark Night,’ helped me feel that this inward journey of contemplation to meet God at our center and still point is one that is always wrapped in mystery. It leads us to an encounter with God who is transcendent and completely other from ourselves and the natural world around us. In that sense, it is very different from relationships we have with other humans. In spite of this dimension of transcendence and otherness, this relationship is much closer and deeper to us than other relations can be. In human relationships, the other is always in front of us and exterior to us. But in this encounter in contemplation and silence, we feel the divine presence deep within us where no one else can enter. So this relationship has a dimension of mystery and darkness which John of the Cross so well celebrates in his poem. We note also that although this relationship is completely different from our ordinary experiences, it is an encounter of love where the divine touches and reminds us that He/She loves us and asks us to respond to this invitation.  As John of the Cross so well puts, it is an encounter in darkness but one that is also burning with fire of love. We are meeting our Beloved who takes us by the hand and asks us to respond with our love. While I was on pilgrimage to Segovia where John lived and is buried, his poem about the dark night was always present to me and helped me feel the presence of the divine within me.

            On this pilgrimage also to Castilla y León, I made it a point to visit several Marian shrines with statues of the Black Madonna and I wanted to enter more into their

symbolism. Statues of the Black Virgin are all over Europe and are centers of pilgrimage for many people. I was able to visit such statues in the Basilica of Our Lady of Atocha in Madrid. I made a trip also to Toledo and in the cathedral, I visited the chapel of Our Lady of the Sanctuary and the beautiful statue of the ‘La Virgen Blanca.’ These two statues are very famous and attract many visitors to the church. I sat in meditation in front of these and the dark complexion of the mother and child had an aura of mystery. Because the faces and skin were black, I had the feeling that the Virgin was leading us into the mystery of the dark night that John of the Cross speaks about in his poem. With this dark color of the face and skin, Mary directs us in our inward journey to meet the transcendent God who is completely other than we are but loves us and wants to have our friendship. I believe that these Black Madonna pilgrim shrines not only in Europe but in many places in the world attract people for this reason.  Darkness is a symbol which draws and leads us into mystery of God to whom we want to orientate our life. Our daily life is full of many things, interests, occupations, concerns, etc, and it is a challenge to find the central focus which will push our life in the right direction. This focus is God and we have the challenge through our faith and prayer to know and love God better so that the divine can be the center of our activities and relationships and put them into the right direction. This is the challenge of our life and the Black Madonna is in these pilgrimage shrines reaching out to many people and assisting them in this journey of faith.

            The color black is also symbolic of the earth and fertility which are deep human realities.  We come from the earth and our mother’s womb. Looking at the Black Madonna, we ask her to help us with the many problems of our life and the world we live in. In a pilgrimage, we go to a holy space where we have a special encounter with the divine.  We bring the problems and cares of our daily life back home to this holy place asking God his help with these things. The Black Madonna celebrated and honored at these particular shrines can be an intercessor in this regard.

            In conclusion, in making the pilgrimage of silence to Castilla y León, I am always drawn to visit the place where John of the Cross lived and is buried.  I read his poems which set the tone for the trip and this year, I read many times his poem ‘In a Dark Night.’  We are on an inward journey of contemplation to meet God in silence and darkness. It is a meeting of love where the divine invites us into a relationship of friendship.  This year, I also coupled this pilgrimage with a visit to three chapels with statues of the Black Madonna. The darkness of the statues exudes mystery and invites us to take the hand of Mary who will lead us into the presence of the transcendent God who awaits our friendship.  Since this is a journey to meet God who is completely other and different, we must be content to make this trip in mystery and darkness. The poems of John of the Cross and the statues of the Black Madonna will help us find our way to this beautiful meeting with the Lord.

TWO SILENCES OF GOD

DRYNESS

Somber mood – happy sunshine slips behind

encroaching clouds –

rain tonight!

Spring’s colors of the seashore become dull –

lose their life.

Off-shore breeze – cool – sharp –

after 3 PM –

reminder – ocean water still cold.

Cloudy seashore echoes my mood – feelings –

dryness hangs over me.

I whisper: “For you alone, my soul waits in silence” –

over and over – words – crisp – dry

fall into pieces.

Words touch an abyss – I cannot enter –

abyss covers me – at my center – still point.

Longing – desires well up in me -

cry out in darkness.

Where is my Beloved? –

hidden in this darkness.

Strange – darkness is sweet –

despite it all – I touch someone –

I sense presence –

presence – so deep – far away –

presence that grasps me – loves me.

So I sit in darkness – life – mystery –

God – a mystery –

deep within me – darkness is sweet.

Robert Trabold

                                                       ------------------------

TWO SILENCES OF GOD

Robert Trabold

            John Main, the founder of the John Main Meditation Movement, states that in our contemplative prayer and voyage, we will encounter two types of silences coming from God. The first is the silence we have when we experience the sweet presence of the divine at our center and still point and rest in that infinite presence. The second form of silence is one of absence, that is, we feel ourselves in a void and no longer experience this divine presence within us.  In our inward journey in contemplation, Main mentions that it is important that we understand these two very different prayer experiences.

            In the first experience, we feel the infinite and sweet presence of God within us and it is an important one and comes with our growth in the discipline of silence. We learn to calm down, control our wandering mind, pay attention to our posture, create a space in our house where we can be quiet and meditate, use the mantra which helps us focus on the divine at our center and still point, etc. With this discipline, we are disposed to feel God’s presence within us and see how the divine loves us and wants us to reciprocate. This sense of intimacy and quiet can also come to us when we are in the presence of nature, like the seashore, the mountains, our flower garden, etc. The beauty and stillness of nature touches us and triggers off an experience of the infinite silence of God within us. Particular times of the year and holidays can also have a similar effect on us. These positive experiences of God’s silence are periods of consolation and encourage us on in our inward journey.

            The other silence we experience is one of absence and void.  That sweet experience that we had of God’s presence disappears and we feel emptiness within us.  There is dryness and we can be very distracted in our contemplation. It is at this point that we should try to understand what is going on. In one sense, there will always be a void and emptiness in our experience of the presence of the divine because it is transcendent and we will never grasp it. God will always slip through our fingers like sand on the seashore.  On the other hand, there is also another dimension to this feeling of void.  The divine sends these periods of absence and dryness in order to purify us. The challenge of our contemplative path is to love the Lord selflessly as he loves to us. He wants to teach us to grow in a deep love of him, be faithful in that devotion and attachment to him. We are called to love God for Himself/Herself and not for the sweetness we experience in a close presence.

            These are two experiences we have to understand in our contemplative prayer. Any journey in life has its difficulties and challenges and we have to adjust to them. In the ups and downs of this trip, with all its feelings and movements, we have to learn to love our divine beloved always stronger.  The discipline of the mantra can help us love the divine no matter what happens. We know that God is love and calls us to respond to this call and dwells within us in unimaginable intimacy. We know and have this conviction whether we feel the sweetness of the divine’s presence or its absence. It is a challenge for us to be indifferent to these two experiences of the divine and have both in perspective. They are two sides to our contemplative journey and we have to deal with them. We meditate not because we are happy with the sweet experiences we have of his infinite presence.  We are faithful in our prayer because we are growing in a love relationship with the all merciful and loving God who reaches out His/Her hand in friendship and wants our faithful response. Both fill out our relationship with our Beloved. Feeling the sweetness of God’s infinite presence within us fills us with wonder at the divine and the experience of its absence teaches us to be faithful in our quest to respond to this love and friendship for us.

Divine Ocean

GREAT STILLNESS

Bitter cold winter – long –

a break!

Welcome – January thaw!

Ride to the seashore – full

sunshine today – gentle

breeze from the south – warmer air.

Sun baths all – nature rests

in winter’s sleep –

a few gulls flying looking for a hand out.

Deep silence – quiet reigns over all –

cold put nature to rest –

sunshine is silent too.

Stillness of the seashore echoes

deep within me –

I feel – hear slow beats at

my center – still point –

echoes of the loneliness of life.

My breathing – in and out – feels it –

presence deep within me.

Mystery – I can feel it

but not grasp it.

Yet it fills me – grasps me –

lets me know – my life in the city is not all.

Something lacking –

I need to come to the sea – feel

stillness – sunshine – winter’s emptiness.

There I meet my anchor – compass –

companion.

Despite my running around – doing many things –

hopefully good -

I touch deeper ground –

presence – felt in silence – quiet.

God speaks in silence.

Someone has loved me –

chased me through the years – never

let me go –

held on to me.

Someone cared!

I will continue my life in the city –

busy – running back and forth.

Once in a while – I come

to the seashore –

my true lover meets me – touches me –

fills a hole – infinite –

only God can fill.

Robert Trabold

                                                       ---------------------

OCEAN OF GOD

Robert Trabold

            John Main, the founder of the John Main Meditation Movement, states that we have to be courageous and launch out through meditation and contemplation into the ocean of God. It is journey in which we encounter the presence of God at our center and still point. In this trip, we get away from ourselves and go beyond our life of self interest to which we can be enslaved.  Humans are very attached to themselves and are constantly working to enhance their position in the world. This is how we see life and deal with people.  This goal is very immediate to us and the challenge of meditation is to help us to get beyond it. In one sense, we are to leave behind the superficial and very obvious appearances of life, like our self interest, and arrive at a new depth and vision of things which only God can give us.

            The Lord gives us this new and deeper understanding of ourselves and life in meditation. We have to launch out into contemplation and be faithful to the discipline of silence daily. One of the new bases of our lives is the two periods of twenty minutes of meditation in which we encounter the divine. Ironically, we are not called to do many things and actions but in contemplation, we are invited to enter into the stillness of the Spirit. In the quiet and seemly doing nothing in meditation, the transcendent reveals itself to us and enters into our life as our new center; The divine touches us and invites us to enter into a relationship of love. This new dimension of our life then replaces our efforts to aggrandize ourselves and self interest.  It is pushed to the side and we have now a new way of seeing things. We have launched ourselves into the ocean of God and we have to discern where we are being lead. 

            On our part, we are challenged to be faithful to the discipline of silence and our daily meditation.  We do not abandon the use of the mantra but say it diligently in our journey to encounter God. This is not easy because our meditation will go through periods of dryness and emptiness and we wonder whether this inward journey is really worthwhile.  This is compounded by the fact that God is transcendent and beyond us; so this relationship is completely different from our normal human relationships of life. The divine is vast like the ocean and we have to have confidence that despite the darkness at times, that we are being lead by someone who loves us and draws closer to us. In meditation, we leave words and images behind and enter into the naked presence of Jesus, our Beloved. The mysterious thing about this is that it is done in silence which on the surface, seems to be empty but really is full of meaning and launches us into a new dimension of living. We have pierced the superficiality of life of just tending to our self interest and see the world in a different fashion. God becomes our anchor and gives us a new way of living in the world and handling its challenges. We are on a new trip and God is the rudder.  When we are on a ship and look at the sea, it is dark and mysterious.  So too is this journey into God through meditation and contemplation. There are many currents in our life but the divine is there and offers to us a new way of being beyond the superficialities of human living. We have found a new lover who walks with us through the years and will welcome us into the beyond at death.

           

           

           

Therese Neumann

MORNING SILENCE

Konnersreuth

Silence hangs over the land –

golden wheat fields – dark

green forest all lay in quiet.

Dim sun slowly rises – eats

away morning mist.

Silence over a holy land –

saintly woman lived here – farm

girl – worked the fields – feed the

animals.

She loved flowers – fields – green trees

but loved the Lord more –

her Beloved!

Silence is the language of God –

silence hangs over the land.

I made a long trip to come here –

pilgrim’s way.

I came to touch Silence of God –

Silence of Therese Neumann –

Silence of morning’s landscape.

It will be a long trip home –

long car ride to the airport –

long flight over the ocean.

Memories will last of this holy land –

holy land!

Feelings – awe – wonder will not fade away.

My life – a pilgrimage – many

years have passed – how many more?

Only God knows! I have to

keep on walking - climbing the

mountain of life – like Therese Neumann.

Memories of this holy land

will help me along.

Robert Trabold

                                                   --------------------------

THERESE NEUMANN:

MODERN DAY MYSTIC

Robert Trabold

            I had the opportunity last summer to visit the birth place of Therese Neumann in Konnersreuth, Germany.  She was born into a small farming village in southeast Germany in 1898 and died there in 1962.  She was a farm girl and lived most of her life in this modest place.   She had a normal youth and worked hard on the farm and then had a serious of accidents in her work which left her bed ridden and blind for several years. She had a great devotion to Therese of Lisieux and on the day of the beatification of the latter, she was cured of her blindness and on the day of canonization, was miraculously able to walk again.  Therese Neumann was a devout person and attained the heights of contemplative prayer; many people testify to her union and intimacy with God. Shortly after being cured of her illnesses, she received the wounds of Jesus on her body and each Friday, from noon to 3 PM, she suffered in her bed and bled from her wounds. At that time also, she had many visions of the life of Christ which were then written down by people who spoke to her afterwards.

            In visiting the small village, one can go to the house where she lived and into the room with the bed where she suffered on Fridays.  In the cemetery, one can visit her grave and there is a small chapel to her honor where people place plaques of thanksgiving to Therese who interceded for their needs.  She loved nature and one can visit the garden she planted and see how artistically it is laid out with flowers blooming all during the summer. At a local home for the aged, there is an hour’s film of her life which is very impressive and touching; she lived in the modern era so that the film depicts her speaking to people and working in the town.

            During her life time, she had many visitors who came to talk with her and be present in her room when she suffered for the three hours on each Friday. The people who came were devout who wanted to experience this event recalling the suffering of Jesus.  Others were curious only wanting to see such a thing.  During the years, there were many people who came to the small town asking advice for their life and difficulties. After the Second World War, the American soldiers who occupied the town were very impressed and touched by Therese’s life and sufferings.  On returning to the United States, they talked about Therese and started movements to spread devotion to her.  The little town became a place of pilgrimage and it is the same until this day; pilgrims come as individuals or in groups and in buses to visit the various sites of her life. There is a movement now in motion to have her beatified and canonized.

            In reading the various books and pamphlets written about her, the writers testify to her ascent into mystical prayer.  She achieved a great intimacy with Jesus and this was manifest in her words and actions. After her many sufferings and visions, she would rest for many hours in the presence of God and felt intensely this friendship.  In visiting the various places of her life, such as her house, the room where she suffered, her grave and her garden, I did feel a silence.  From these places, there exuded a quiet which was the presence of the divine.  In making the pilgrimage to Konnersreuth, I did not feel that Therese drew me to herself but led me into the silence of God to rest there. In these moments, I was quiet just to be in the presence of Jesus. This sense of silence was most manifest in her room when I was next to the bed she suffered in and in visiting her grave where she is now resting. I spent long hours there and very much felt the presence of God within me and washing over me.

            Beside being so touched by contemplative silence, I was also moved that she was a stigmatic and manifested in such a deep way the sufferings of Jesus on Good Friday. She suffered with Jesus and her clothes and sheets of the bed were marked by the blood flowing from her wounds. This touched me deeply and in one way, grace was flowing over me. Also once Therese received the wounds of Jesus and became a stigmatic, she never again had to eat in her life nor drink water nor have to sleep. These were signs of her deep union with Jesus and hopefully will act to bring other people close to him. We can say that she was a mystic who attained deep union with God in contemplative prayer and silence entering deeply into His/Her presence. On the other hand, she was a stigmatic and manifested in her body the physical sufferings of Jesus. Certainly, these were miraculous things and helped the many pilgrims who came to see her have more faith. Wondrous things done by God can help us believe. Therese Neumann wanted her life to do this and not focus attention on herself.

            I did make a long trip to fly to Germany and drive to an out of the way place in that country. I wanted to be a pilgrim going to a holy place and experience the presence of such a great mystic and stigmatic. I went there also burdened with cares and troubles of the world and my life.  I left them there hoping that Therese would intercede for me and my world, bringing it more peace and justice. I was not disappointed and hopefully, the effects of this pilgrimage will play themselves out in blessing us all and our world which is so troubled.

           

MANTRA

‘FOR YOU ALONE, MY SOUL WAITS IN SILENCE!’

Slowly - distinctly, I whisper:

“For you alone, my soul waits in silence!”

My voice arises from the depths –

words vibrate in my whole body -

coming from the deepest parts of my center –

whose depth is infinite –

endless tunnels - stairs – deep darkness

so still – noise never penetrates there.

I enter - descend slowly but am hopelessly lost in mystery –

mystery of an encounter – in my depths.

I meet my Beloved – utter stillness.

My Beloved speaks in silence –

clue to the divine’s presence.

I whisper: “For you alone, my soul waits in silence!” -

feel the resonance of the words –

words of love – longing – words of waiting.

I sit in utter silence – I feel nothingness –

but emptiness is full –

out of darkness – out of mystery – comes light.

What meeting could be more beautiful!

Robert Trabold

                                                     ----------------------------

MANTRA

Robert Trabold

                        In the two large meditation movements in the United States, Centering Prayer Movement and Meditation Movement of John Main, both suggest that the use of a mantra is a very important part of our growth in contemplation and touching God’s presence in it. The former lets each individual select his/her mantra that is meaningful to the person while the latter suggests the use of the last word of the bible “maranatha.” Individuals have to choose which is best to them. In our inward journey of contemplative prayer, we need to develop a discipline so that we can compose ourselves and focus on the silent presence of God within us. This is a challenge because we are busy people and generally involved in a million things each day. Some of these are important and emotionally laden so it is a challenge to empty out our minds and focus on our inward contemplative journey. We follow the rules to develop the discipline of silence by selecting a quiet place to meditate, its decoration with pictures and/or flowers, our posture, etc. At this point, the mantra is very important. By repeating it either silently or out loud, these repetitive words enter into our person and we focus on and touch the divine Beloved at our center and still point. This is the goal of contemplation; the mantra helps us reach this point and rest in God’s presence. Somehow the repetition of the words pulls ourselves together and we become silent and quiet to meet the Lord. It is in one sense a hard meeting because it is in silence and with time, we have to learn to become comfortable with this. Many writers on the contemplative path say that silence is the language of God and we have to cultivate this. Most of our meetings with people in life are not silent but here we are pulling ourselves together so that we can enter into this kind of encounter.

            With the constant repetition of the mantra, there is a calming down of ourselves and we rest in the quiet and sweetness of God’s presence. We sense immediately that we are in the presence of someone special, one who loves us and is really happy that we have taken the time and effort to have this encounter.  The Lord is waiting for us to come and meet him. There is a peace that settles over us because we have left our many activities and cares of our life and world on the side of a while, so that we can have an experience of someone who is important in our lives and is the ground of our being. We have taken the time out from our many activities in order to focus on another dimension of life which lies below all the other busy and pressing activities of our daily routine and which also gives meaning and direction to all that we do. John Main mentions that in the silence of contemplation, we meet the divine who is the ground of our being and lets our life have another dimension to it. We are not happy with defining ourselves by our work, profession, title, marriage and children, etc.  We have entered into a new dimension of our life which is other and transcendent and meet God who loves us and invites us to be friends during our life on earth.

            This is why there is a peace and depth that comes upon us when we say our mantra because we know that we are touching someone deep in our lives who goes beyond all our other activities. This peace which we experience in the use of the mantra in meditation remains with us even if we have many distractions during the prayer period. Distractions come and go and gently we have to let them go and continue on into silence. Now the mantra helps us control and let go of the distractions because the repetition of the words aids us transcend them and again focus on the divine presence within us. We again continue on in our inward journey and touch the divine within us. We should not let the distractions get us down because we are humans and our minds were made to inquire and looking into the many things we meet during the day. Humans are inquisitive people and it takes much effort on our part to focus on the divine presence within us who meets us in silence.

            There is a religious proverb in German “God’s work is one of silence and the night.” We do not have many important things in our life that are as such. As a result, we have the challenge in our contemplation to cultivate this new and very different dimension which redefines us and we go beyond just being human beings. We meet the ground of our being and become one with our divine Beloved who loves us unconditionally that goes beyond all human love. The faithful use of the mantra is an important key to this meeting and inward journey.

           

Winter Oceanside and Russian Icons

WINTER OCEANSIDE

New Year

Wide winter’s ocean –

eternal blue – touching eternal sky.

Sunshine is bright –

slowly now dimming – clouds of

approaching snow storm – tomorrow.

Silence hangs over all – silence of

the sea – silence of winter –

silence of God.

New Year – another cycle –

mystery of time marches on –

mystery of life marches on.

Al Anton – old friend – high school comrade

died – hospital infection –

never made it home again.

My world – country rumbles – endless

wars – killing women – children –

Palestine getting smaller – smaller.

Winter Oceanside – full of mystery –

life is full of mystery.

Silence of the sea is beautiful –

sand – water – brown grass rest in it.

I too rest in silence –

silence – language of God.

Let me have hope – confidence –

life is heavy – endless dark tunnels.

But winter seaside is beautiful –

like the Good Shepherd leading us on.

Robert Trabold

                                                       -------------------------------

RUSSIAN ICONS AND CONTEMPLATION

Robert Trabold

            On November 20, 2010, the House of the Redeemer on 95^th Street
in Manhattan hosted a day of ‘Praying with Icons.’ I decided to go because I have been attracted to various icons and find them helpful in my prayer life.  The discussion on icons was interesting in that the speakers went into the history of their development in Russia, the theology that stands behind the structure and painting of the pictures, the question of veneration of them, and on how they are created and painted. Not knowing too much about the history of icons and their development, I found the discussions very interesting.

            In recent years, I have been attracted to icons because they exude for me a sense of peace and beauty which help me enter into contemplation. Entering into meditation and staying there is a challenge because I live a busy life and I have to make sure that I leave time aside for prayer.  With so many things on my mind, I have to develop a discipline of silence to make room for prayer. I am very careful to have time set aside for prayer, where I will pray, use of the mantra, posture and other things that I do to enter into silence. In living in this discipline of silence, I am aware of the icons in my house and periodically, I look at them and rest in their beauty.  I am particularly enamored to the icon “Our Lady of Vladimir” depicting the Virgin and child. There is an aura of peace and beauty in the faces of the mother and child as they rest close to one another in the picture.  The colors of gold, red, brown and black all add to the dignity of the picture. As I look at the picture and venerate it, I feel a peace and quiet come over me and I enter into the presence of the Virgin and child depicted in the icon. I feel their presence there and they looking at me. This entrance into silence that comes from the icon can help me enter into and prepare for meditation.  The many things and concerns that cluster my mind go away and leave me in peace.  My mind is emptied out and I try to enter into the presence of the divine in contemplation and silence.

            I also have another icon which is from Vietnam. It was given to me many years ago when I was student in Paris. It is a beautiful picture of the Virgin and child. It has the same dark colors but faces are Asian and delicately painted with these characteristics.  Looking at this icon and venerating it, I feel again this sense of peace and quiet which resonates through my body.  It helps me get the busyness and many concerns out of my mind and life so that I can enter into the silence of contemplation. I am a social activist and have been involved with the peace movement for many years and I remember that France and the United States fought wars there for many years and killed millions of people.  Looking at the icon leads me on to pray for peace in the world and an end to wars.

            From my experience with icons in my house, I appreciate their beauty and their ability to lead me into silence and peace. I suspect that this is why they are so prominent in the history of the Russian people and survived the onslaught of many years of Communist rule. On occasion, I enter into Russian Orthodox churches and see how the people are drawn to and venerate the many icons in their church and during their worship services. Participating in the day long discussion of Russian icons at the House of Redeemer recently gave me a deeper insight into the rich tradition and spirituality of these pictures. Becoming more aware of this hopefully will help me appreciate and use more the power and presence of icons in my prayer life. It is a constant struggle for humans to develop that discipline of silence to remain faithful to their practice of contemplation during the years. We can use all the help we need and the rich spiritual history and presence of icons can help us on our way.

                                     

contemplative peace

CONTEMPLATIVE PEACE

            During the 1960’s, there has been a rebirth of mystical prayer in the West because at that time, Western people encountered the contemplative paths of the Far Eastern religions. This led to the spread of New Age spiritualities from the East and also enabled Western Christians to discover their mystical prayer tradition that had been lost since the Protestant Reformation. This rediscovery facilitated spiritual seekers to encounter God – the divine - at their center and still point and brought many fruits, not the least, a sense of peace with life.

            At the heart of the Western mystical tradition is the reality that in contemplative prayer, we have an experience of the presence of the absolute at our center and still point. This is a very dramatic experience and occurs in the silence. Contemplatives cultivate a discipline of silence so that they can enter into the depths of their person to have an encounter with the divine. This meeting with God has two defining characteristics. On the one hand, it is a very close and intimate encounter at our center touching us with its intimacy. In all human friendships, even in such a close one as marriage, the other is always opposite to us but in mystical prayer, the divine is totally within us and we feel this difference from other types of relationships. On the other hand, as we grow in our contemplative path, we note that this intimate presence has a sense of mystery; it is something we cannot completely grasp and is like sand slipping through our fingers. This is because we are in relationship with God who is transcendent and absolute and so beyond our comprehension. As a result, there is a sense of darkness and unknowingness despite such intimacy. For this reason, John of the Cross in his beautiful poem ‘The Dark Night’ speaks about the closeness and fire of this friendship as always taking place in the night.

“In a dark night

filled with fires of love”

                                  (my translation)

            Because the intimacy of this mystical experience of the presence of God, we realize that we are not alone on the pilgrimage of on earth; at our center and still point is the divine accompanying us through the years and ups and downs of our human life. This sense of accompaniment gives us a sense of peace which the world cannot give and is special because it comes from the absolute. John Main (9-10) mentions that as we grow in this peace and friendship, we encounter God as the ground of our being and in this relationship, we find our true selves. We are spiritual beings open to the transcendent who completes us. We are not taken up entirely with the things of the world and their fleetingness but center our life on the presence of the divine within us; we define ourselves as human in this new relationship with God. We have found ourselves and a sense of peace comes into our lives because we now have a true picture of ourselves. This helps us very much find security in facing the trials and difficulties of our human life and of the world we live in.

            In this inner contemplative journey to discover the presence of God at our center and still point and in which we discover our true selves, we realize that the divine is calling us to a relationship of love. In one sense, the absolute is running after us and inviting us to have an intimate friendship. God, the ground of our being, is compassionate, cares for us and deeply loves us. In the writings and poetry of the mystics, they express amazement at this initiative of the divine to reach out to us. The last few lines of the beautiful poem of John of the Cross, “Flame of Love” describe this well.

“How gently and lovingly

you rest on me,

where on you alone dwell;

in your beautiful breath

full of goodness and beauty

you gently entice me to love you.”

                                                 (my translation)

            This realization on how much the divine loves us brings a needed peace in our lives. Because we are human and the world we live in is filled with injustices, violence and constant turmoil, we feel insecure in the universe.  The philosopher, Martin Heidegger, mentions that we are thrown into the universe at our birth and it is a place of contingencies. We have to face our humanity, sicknesses, the violence of the world and our death. The world and the universe in which we live are unfriendly places and make us feel uncomfortable. But as we grow in our contemplative path and this relationship of love with the divine, we have a sense of peace that despite it all, there is a hand that is holding us and will guide us through the difficulties of our life and world.  Confidence takes hold of us. We know that life and the universe that we live in are beyond us; we are not in control and never will be.  However, we are called to rest in the love of God; we know that the divine is in control and this gives to us a sense of confidence and peace. John of the Cross expresses this beautifully in the last lines of the beautiful poem, “Dark Night.”

 

“Everything is ceasing,

I forget myself.

I leave all my cares

forgotten among the lilies.”

                                                  (my translation)

            In conclusion, Western people are living in the renaissance of mystical prayer originating in the creative times of the 1960’s. It is a great richness and the many contemporary contemplative prayer movements, both eastern and western, make this available to us. We should take advantage of them and grow in the sense of peace which mystical prayer gives us. Our human life and the world we live in have more than enough of problems and crisis. The divine – Our Beloved, however, is present at our center and still point and we are called to cultivate a relationship with Him/Her, grow in and enjoy the contemplative peace that arises from it.

“I will seduce my love, lead her into the desert and speak to her heart.”

Hosea, 2, 16.

Main, John. The Heart of Creation. New York: Continuum, 1998.

Robert Trabold

e-mail: rt8265@earthlink.net