Easter Time

SUNSHINE - EASTER MORNING

 

Bright - clear sunshine - early

Easter morning - lovely

blue sky - hardly a cloud.

Sun brightens spring garden -
smiling yellow daffodils - mysterious
blue - pink - white hyacinths.

Aroma touches you a mile away.

Pink - yellow primrose -
small but not the least.

Gentle breeze - daffodils shake
their heads in joy.

Sunshine covers all - colors
blend together like a concert.
I am happy in the sunlight -
light is celebrating

                                               the Risen Lord.

Jesus' life - death - resurrection
overwhelm me. Such a good man -
caught in the web of evil intentions.

Such a good man - Why such an end?
Jesus' passion repeated many times in
suffering of good people -

innocent but devastated -

endless wars – violence – hatred.

Sunlight is quiet – strong -   clear -

 

overcame darkness of the night.

Light – day – night – darkness -

big mystery.

Life has many turns -
clear sunshine gives me hope.

Lovely – beautiful –

giving a good ending to a sad story -
our story too!

The Father wanted a happy ending
despite it all!

 

Robert Trabold

 

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CONTEMPLATIVE PEACE

 

Robert Trabold

 

 

            During the 1960’s, there has been a rebirth of mystical prayer in the West because at that time, Western people encountered the contemplative paths of the Far Eastern religions. This led to the spread of New Age spiritualities from the East and also enabled Western Christians to discover their mystical prayer tradition that had been lost since the Protestant Reformation. This rediscovery facilitated spiritual seekers to encounter God – the divine - at their center and still point and brought many fruits, not the least, a sense of peace with life.

 

            At the heart of the Western mystical tradition is the reality that in contemplative prayer, we have an experience of the presence of the absolute at our center and still point. This is a very dramatic experience and occurs in the silence. Contemplatives cultivate a discipline of silence so that they can enter into the depths of their person to have an encounter with the divine. This meeting with God has two defining characteristics. On the one hand, it is a very close and intimate encounter at our center touching us with its intimacy. In all human friendships, even in such a close one as marriage, the other is always opposite to us but in mystical prayer, the divine is totally within us and we feel this difference from other types of relationships. On the other hand, as we grow in our contemplative path, we note that this intimate presence has a sense of mystery; it is something we cannot completely grasp and is like sand slipping through our fingers. This is because we are in relationship with God who is transcendent and absolute and so beyond our comprehension. As a result, there is a sense of darkness and unknowingness despite such intimacy. For this reason, John of the Cross in his beautiful poem ‘The Dark Night’ speaks about the closeness and fire of this friendship as always taking place in the night.

 

“In a dark night

filled with fires of love”

                                  (my translation)

 

            Because the intimacy of this mystical experience of the presence of God, we realize that we are not alone on the pilgrimage of on earth; at our center and still point is the divine accompanying us through the years and ups and downs of our human life. This sense of accompaniment gives us a sense of peace which the world cannot give and is special because it comes from the absolute. John Main (9-10) mentions that as we grow in this peace and friendship, we encounter God as the ground of our being and in this relationship, we find our true selves. We are spiritual beings open to the transcendent who completes us. We are not taken up entirely with the things of the world and their fleetingness but center our life on the presence of the divine within us; we define ourselves as human in this new relationship with God. We have found ourselves and a sense of peace comes into our lives because we now have a true picture of ourselves. This helps us very much find security in facing the trials and difficulties of our human life and of the world we live in.

 

            In this inner contemplative journey to discover the presence of God at our center and still point and in which we discover our true selves, we realize that the divine is calling us to a relationship of love. In one sense, the absolute is running after us and inviting us to have an intimate friendship. God, the ground of our being, is compassionate, cares for us and deeply loves us. In the writings and poetry of the mystics, they express amazement at this initiative of the divine to reach out to us. The last few lines of the beautiful poem of John of the Cross, “Flame of Love” describe this well.

 

“How gently and lovingly

you rest on me,

where you alone dwell;

in your beautiful breath

full of goodness and beauty

you gently entice me to love you.”

                                                 (my translation)

             This realization on how much the divine loves us brings a needed peace in our lives. Because we are human and the world we live in is filled with injustices, violence and constant turmoil, we feel insecure in the universe.  The philosopher, Martin Heidegger, mentions that we are thrown into the universe at our birth and it is a place of contingencies. We have to face our humanity, sicknesses, the violence of the world and our death. The world and the universe in which we live are unfriendly places and make us feel uncomfortable. But as we grow in our contemplative path and this relationship of love with the divine, we have a sense of peace that despite it all, there is a hand that is holding us and will guide us through the difficulties of our life and world.  Confidence takes hold of us. We know that life and the universe that we live in are beyond us; we are not in control and never will be.  However, we are called to rest in the love of God; we know that the divine is in control and this gives to us a sense of confidence and peace. John of the Cross expresses this beautifully in the last lines of the beautiful poem, “Dark Night.”

 

“Everything is ceasing,

I forget myself.

I leave all my cares

forgotten among the lilies.”

                                                  (my translation)

  

            In conclusion, Western people are living in the renaissance of mystical prayer originating in the creative times of the 1960’s. It is a great richness and the many contemporary contemplative prayer movements, both eastern and western, make this available to us. We should take advantage of them and grow in the sense of peace which mystical prayer gives us. Our human life and the world we live in have more than enough of problems and crisis. The divine – Our Beloved, however, is present at our center and still point and we are called to cultivate a relationship with Him/Her, grow in and enjoy the contemplative peace that arises from it.

 

“I will seduce my love, lead her into the desert and speak to her heart.”

Hosea, 2, 16.

 

Main, John. The Heart of Creation. New York: Continuum, 1998.

 

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Mantra

MANTRA

 

I sit in the quiet – hear the sea’s waves.

I repeat my mantra – over and over again:

‘For you alone, my soul waits in silence.’

I say it out loud – feel the

words vibrate in my body.

Deep sounds touch me –

lifting me up for the meeting.

Mantras are doors – ushering me

into the presence of my Beloved -

 opening up yearnings within me –

tears in my eyes –

gold and glistening jewelry could not ignite me more!

I pause - hear the words again –

a precious presence overwhelms me.

I feel my breathing in and out –

my Beloved touches me in the rhythm.

I hear the distant sea – roaring - mysterious.

Spring sunshine is warm and soft –

sea shore – words

heighten the presence – touch

of my Beloved.

Someone is here - Someone  kisses me.

My Beloved visits me – in the silence –

quiet of the seashore.

Yellow dunes – wild sea waves

are the palace for the meeting.

No castle could be more beautiful.

My Beloved loves me – woos me –

I feel overwhelmed –

Let me rest in this love – precious touch!

Robert Trabold

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GOD OF SILENCE

Robert Trabold

 

Ultimately mysticism deals with the mystery to which silence is our only response.

Gerhard Wehr

 

                In our journey of contemplative prayer, it is important for us to keep our eyes on the essential thing.  We are dealing with and trying to develop the discipline of silence so that we have an encounter with God. This discipline is very important because it is a challenge to overcome our wandering mind and enter into stillness. This is no small task because our minds were made to wander and ask questions. It is in their very structure. That is why we are constantly distracted because our minds are jumping around and also we receive many stimuli from our daily living and activities. We are passing through distraction into stillness and wisdom which is a gift of God because it runs against the nature of our wandering and inquisitive mind.  Realizing this, we have to then dispose ourselves to receive this gift. We are becoming silent so that we can enter into the infinity of God.  The instrument we use to make this transition and enter into this new dimension of prayer is the mantra. By the faithful repetition of our chosen word, our whole being and mind are brought to focus on the presence of the divine with us.  It is our way of touching God.

                God is a reality to which we can relate to in many ways.  We can talk about and we can think of him/her. We can try to have images of the divine in our minds and see many attempts of this in the many religious works of art. God has many facets to which we can respond.  But in silence, we are reacting to God as a whole and to the divine presence.  It is an existential encounter of our human presence meeting the presence of the Lord and we are meeting the divine in its totality.  This encounter in silence goes beyond the attempts to think and talk about God.  It is much more intimate and touches us as our center and still point.  It is an intensely personal encounter deeper that the meetings we have with other human beings because no one can be so close to us as the divine’s presence deep within us. It is also an encounter of love because the Lord invites us in silence to respond to his loving and caring for us in life; we are to reciprocate this love.

                So in one sense, we can say that this is what prayer is about. It is an encounter with the divine in silence at our center and still point. In this meeting, there is a peace that comes to us and a deep intimacy of two presences meeting one another in a deep existential sense. That is why we have to try to be faithful to our repetition of the mantra because we are on a journey of love to meet the infinite God. The mantra is our word but it is powerful because with time it leads us into silence which is the silence of God. It is a journey which requires our patience. Our wandering mind is always on the go.  But with patience and perseverance, we will grow in this silence through the years and the Lord will help us grow in this discipline of silence and the repetition of the mantra. The important thing is that we start and remain faithful to our journey into the infinite silence of God.

               

 

 

               

 

               

Journey to Resurrection

JOURNEY OF MY LIFE

JOURNEY TO GOD

 

Utter silence – blinding winter sun

gentle breezes – hardly noticeable

surprising warmth for January

silent mystery!

In the distance – pounding sea – waves crashing in – wild

repeating noise – one right after the other.

Are these sounds of my life?  pounding?

 wildness?  no control?

Mystery of the pounding of the sea is the mystery of my life.

So many different currents – some dangerous –

others easy to swim in.

Utter silence of the day is utter silence of God –

the Beloved.

Crashing ocean cannot take away the silence of the Divine.

Stillness permeates all – it frames the noise - pounding sea –

frames the currents of my life.

How does it do it?  mystery?

Let me not ask too many questions!

Better – let me feel the Presence in the silence –

Presence of the Beloved.

Like the mysterious pounding of the sea,

my life pounds in mystery -

 

sometimes painful – other times with smiles.

Let the mystery be dark - dim –

Presence of my Beloved is there.

He will not leave me alone.

God hovers over all!

 

Robert Trabold

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JOURNEY TO RESURRECTION

Robert Trabold

 

            In our walking through life and in the years we have on earth, we do realize that our human existence is not our real home.  It is a home that has a beginning, middle and an end.  At times, we do not want to realize this nor face it. It is hard to face because we have to let go of our whole life on earth and move on to another existence. So this engenders fear within us and this prospect is full of mystery.  What is on the other side of our human journey? So we see that our physical life is delicate and temporary but if we are honest with ourselves, the fragility of this physical life is a symbol of also the fragility of our spiritual life. We are burdened with our humanity with its pride, selfishness and violence on the individual and social level. If we look at ourselves in the mirror and are honest, we must admit that it is a struggle in life to try to live in a positive way and not be dominated by our selfishness and pride that never goes away.  This is the human condition. It is incumbent upon ourselves to constantly keep in mind that we have to establish a real relationship with God who is the eternal spring in our life and constantly gives us the inspiration and strength to live in the way Jesus wants for us.  Scripture tells us that we are fragile vessels on earth and we have to become filled with the presence of the divine to overcome this fragility and live in a new life.

 

            Meditation is a powerful tool to help us put into focus this human condition we are in and to see how we can go beyond it. In our life, it is a challenge to come to grips with our humanity and selfishness and reach out to a loving relationship with God which offers us a way to go beyond our own fragility to a resurrection. Through the Christian gospel, we are now invited to this resurrection and rebirth, we do not have to wait until another day. Jesus invites us to die to our pride, self-importance and limitations. Our life does not have to be dominated by the weaknesses of our human existence. There is a way out. An example is Jesus’ life.  He died on the cross and also had his resurrection. Death did not have the final word and it is also a symbol of what is offered to us. Through the example of his life, Jesus invites us to go through our weaknesses and death and offers us a new life of communion and fraternity with God and other human beings in earth and in eternity. We cross over our own fear of our humanity and death to rise to a new life – an Easter Sunday for ourselves.

 

            When we sit down to meditate, Jesus is giving us an invitation to go beyond our life of human weakness, pride and death and rise to a new life in the mystery of God.  In this journey into the divine, we realize that the divine is love and this love casts out fear from our life. In this journey in the human condition and on earth, ‘Someone’ loves us, watches over us and calls to a loving relationship. This call to love and union with Jesus casts out fear from us – we are no longer dominated by our weaknesses and our fear of the death of our body. It puts everything in perspective – our life and death are absorbed in our experience of God and in the confidence of the Lord’s love for us. In our meditation and repetition of the mantra, we are focusing on the divine’s presence within us and in our hearts. The daily fidelity to meditation and saying of the mantra helps us better understand own  life, death and resurrection and aids us focus on the important goal,  that is, to put our life totally in the Lord and the new way he offers us to see ourselves in the world and our earthly existence.

 

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New Year 2013

CALM DAY

Calm day, I needed a break –

went to the seashore. Lovely

blue sky – no one around –

I had the seashore to myself –

deep silence – could hear

roaring waves in the distance . 

I could not have asked for a

better day.

Feed some gulls with left over food –

they were grateful.

I need a break – inside I am

bleeding. Police crack heads again

of peaceful demonstrators at Zuccotti Park.

Iran gave up its nuclear weapons program in

2003

yet we still taunt it – bully it –

threats of war.

Massacre of civilians in Afghanistan –

War making provokes such hatred.

All of this turns inside of me –

I carry a load – internal bleeding.

Despite the sunshine, I sit in darkness –

sitting in two worlds.

But quiet of the sea – silence –

give me hope – language of God

is silence – divine speaks in silence.

So let me pray – I will ask Jesus

to carry again cross of the world.

It is too much for me.  He will do it

as he did it before.

He is the hope – king.

He takes my desperation – turns it into confidence.

St. Paul said: “For those with faith,

All things turn out well.”

Robert Trabold

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NEW YEAR 2013

Robert Trabold

          As the old year ends and the New Year starts, we take time out to take stock of our life.  Where have gone in 2012? Where do we want to go in 2013? What is essential and important in our life? What is unnecessary, harmful and distracts us from our true path? In our life in the modern industrial world, this can be a challenge.  We tend to be busy with many things and responsibilities for our work, schooling, family, interests, etc. We hardly have time for and to reflect on ourselves.  Also, the modern world and the various mass media bombard us with different values and ways of orientating ourselves. To find our way through this maze is not so easy.  Wherever we turn, someone is pointing us in a different direction. It can be hard to sort it all out and find real maturity and Christian depth.  In our faithful practice of meditation each day, we can discern what is essential to our growth as humans and what is non-essential.  Jesus tells us that the Spirit dwells in our hearts – the Spirit of Love – the source of our life and we need to become aware of its presence.

            Through  the of  practice of meditation, we put ourselves in contact with this life source which then helps us grow and mature in the fullness of being – in the mystery of our time and journey on earth. Jesus calls us to understand the sacredness of our humanity and being and to allow our spirit to have the space to grow in this.  Meditation facilitates our spirit to grow in this space.  Growth and expansion is found in the silence of meditation; through this silence, we touch the infinite silence of God – the eternal silence. Through this practice, we come to see what is necessary for us to grow in this divine space and to see what humility, compassion and understanding are needed.

            The tradition of meditation and our daily practice of it is a commitment to enter into this path and be faithful to it.  It is the time of the day when we make contact with the divine Spirit – Source – and make room for it.  We have to reflect on our schedule and commitments and find out how we can make room to meditate twice a day for twenty minutes each time. We find a corner in the house where we have a small altar, statue, flowers, candles, etc which helps us enter the spirit of concentration and meditation. We have to experiment with our posture to see what helps us enter into the contemplative mood. The position of our hands, body and eyes are important. We can get advice from various meditation movements who offer valuable information to help us develop this discipline of silence.  In our cultivation of this, we touch the ground of our being, our life’s source. Through the time of meditation and repetition of the mantra, we make contact with the Source of Life and build our values and orientation around it.  Human living is a mixed bag and there is always much confusion around us.  But such is our journey on earth.  Over the years, as we are faithful to our discipline of silence and to the practice of meditation, Jesus will lead us to the Spirit of Love who dwells within our hearts and helps us put our lives on a mature and deeply Christian orientation which will last us through the years on earth and into eternal life.

Advent

WALKING IN LIFE

Lovely day, gentle fall weather –

clear blue sky – cool air –

light breeze – bright sunshine

highlight slowly turning leaves.

I feel the calm – soothes me –

clashes with my feelings inside –

worries – cares of life –

I face a pending ambulatory operation –

not too serious – but still surgery.

Financial cares – What to do?

What not to do? Decisions to be

made – I feel them on my shoulders.

Walk in the fall sunshine

helps me – washes me – soothes me.

At times in life, so much falls on me.

It makes it hard to breath.

Sunshine reminds me of something –

do not let life get you down –

Jesus is in charge – I put all

my cares in his hands.

He knows them already.

But I give them to Jesus –

I know he loves me – he never

let me down – will not do

it now either.

Robert Trabold

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ADVENT

Robert Trabold

            When November comes around in our calendar, we notice that the days get shorter and we no have the long ones of summer.  Everything in the garden slows down.  The annuals slowly die in the cool weather and leave their seeds for next year’s growth.  The perennials slowly lose their flowers and leaves and wait for the spring to start again.  The trees lose their leaves and we can see the stars through their bare branches in the night. When we leave our work at 5 PM, it is already dark or getting there and we do not have the nicety of going home in the daylight. We shut down our garden and move away our furniture which will be used again in the springtime. Darkness comes earlier each day and we now spend more time indoors where we have light and heat. 

            The coming of the darkness has also a spiritual significance. Experiencing the darkness awakens in us a desire to have the dawn and light come again. Darkness has a sense of mystery which surrounds us and touches us.  It is symbolic of the mystery of God who is completely other and transcendent and about whom we really can say nothing. Yet the divine is the ground of our being and the source of our life on earth.  It is also present in the universe with its enormity and uncountable stars and planets and which just keeps on growing after the big bang. When we look at the winter sky with its many stars, we feel the mystery of the expansive universe and of our place in such a vastness.  The darkness of the autumn and the coming wintertime is also symbolic of the darkness of our life on earth and in the world. As human beings we yearn for a world of justice and peace, but our daily life tells and shows us that the earth is far from this.  We are constantly plagued by violence, hatred and injustices.  Each day on the television and in the newspapers, we read about endless wars which consume millions of innocent people and of hatred between groups which starts such violence.  It is painful to see our country involved in such wars which never end and whose rational is questionable. We participate in social movements to address these issues and at times, we feel that we are climbing up a never ending mountain of injustices and violence.  Against these realities, it is easy to give up hope and our dream of a better world.

            But the darkness of the autumn and of Advent also awakens in us the hope and desire that someday there will be a light glimmering in this darkness and promises us salvation from the problems surrounding us and our world.  This glimmering light appeared over 2000 years ago in Bethlehem and comes back every year to illuminate our life. At that time, the world was also dark with violence and injustices. People had to come to grips with the darkness in their personal lives and the life of the world. Things were not easy then. In some obscure corner of the world, in a poor small town, a child was born who was to be a sign of a new hope and world.  Men and women no longer have to be trapped in their own sins and selfishness and the violence and injustices of the world.  A savior was born who would show us the way to live in another way and bring justice and peace to a war torn world. There is now a light that shines in the darkness all around us.  This is why Advent time is a time of extra prayer and penance where we try to prepare ourselves for the coming of this light, Jesus Christ.  God has been good to us and has not let us sit in the dark with the intractable problems of our personal life and that of the world.  The light that has appeared shows us a way out and we have to prepare ourselves to receive the savior Jesus and to apply his teachings to our life and to continue our protest movements which confront the evil in the world. This is not easy endeavor but one that is very important and gives us hope for our lives now and in the future.

            The darkness of the autumn and Advent is mysterious and hangs over us each day. But it need not drag us down because we see the light at the end of the tunnel. The light of the Christmas season brings us so much joy and hope for ourselves and our world.

                                  

Healing & Meditation, Brazil

WAITING HALL

Big crowd – all dressed in white –

young people – elderly – children –

parents – people in wheel chairs –

crutches – arms – legs with bandages.

Quiet in the room – people positioning

themselves for the encounter.

Guides lead prayers – encourage people

hoping for a cure.  People from all

over – North America - Europe – Brazil –

all dressed in white – white like

angels – waiting the touch of God.

Such is our life on earth – our

pilgrimage – sunny days – rainy ones –

healthy days – sick ones. Human

bodies are beautiful – rise to many

heights – but falls also – our mortality.

We will not live forever – we came

from dust – will return there.

So we all sit in white in the big hall.

We are waiting to be touched.

Centuries ago,

Jesus touched – healed.  In that

long waiting hall, we all have the same

hope.  Let the heavens open – we are

all dressed in white – waiting.

Let Jesus come back – touch us again.

Robert Trabold

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ON PILGRIMAGE: ABADIÁNIA

HEALING AND MEDITATION

Robert Trabold

           

            For many years, I have been active in the John Main Meditation Movement and the Centering Prayer Movement. I have developed a discipline of silence in my life and meditate twice a day for 20 minutes.  I say the mantra and try to rest in God’s presence.  It is a prayer without words where I touch the presence of the divine at my center and still point. It is also a prayer without petitions because I sit in the naked presence of the Lord knowing that he already knows all my needs.

            Recently, I had a new experience of contemplative prayer in the setting of a healing ministry.  I have a condition in my body that Western doctors cannot heal.  I have heard many people speak of the healer, John of God, in Abadiánia, Brazil and that it is quite an experience to go there.  I also read a book on his work, John of God: The Brazilian Healer by Heather Cumming and Karen Leffler.  I decided to make a pilgrimage and ask John to heal my health condition and attached myself to a group making this trip.

            After long flights from New York to Brazil, I did get to Abadiánia.  It is small town about an hour and a half from the capital of the country, Brasilia, and lies in beautiful mountain country. The place is very rural and one has lovely views over the hilly countryside. The place where John of God works is a small campus with several healing rooms where he is present, many places where one can sit and meditate in quiet.  The lovely views over the hills add to the silence. There is also a book store with religious items and a place where one can buy healing herbs. The whole tone of the pilgrimage is one of silence and prayer and the guides stressed that the healing take place in prayer. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, when John of God has his public healing services, the town and hotels fill up with people who want to meet him and participate in these events.  There are not only Brazilians, but many people from North America and Europe. His fame runs far and wide and people come from all over looking for help.

            Although I went with a group and there was much and good communication among us, the whole tone of the week was one of silence and prayer. Even our rooms in the hotel were simple with a bed, place to put your clothes and a bathroom. There was much time to ourselves where we could go to various places set aside for prayer and silence. I was attracted to spend much time in a little space which overlooks the hilly country and mountains in the distance.  It had an air of quiet and this silence settled over me. I was able to sit there for long periods of time repeating the mantra and trying to touch God’s presence. In the back of my mind, there was also the question of healing which myself and the multitude desired. So in one sense, there was silent contemplation but also a prayer of petition concerning our healings. I noticed that this yearning was always present but did not disturb the resting in the silent presence of the divine at my center and still point. This was also prevalent in the public services of healing that John of God held. There were hundreds of people present and all were quiet and in prayer. John of God always says that he does not heal, but God does. It was amazing how the multitude of people understood this and rested in quiet. Even back at the hotel where there was a fair amount of communication among the group especially at meal time, there was a tone of silence and people knew that prayer was the key to our going there. It just happened that I had a room to myself and I could use this privacy to rest and pray. There was no one around to disturb me.  Abadiánia is in a tropical country with much sunshine.  This light added to the contemplative atmosphere and gave a joyful tone to the quiet. The tropical flowers with their many colors were beginning to bloom in the rainy season and added to the prayerful atmosphere.

            This quest for silence and prayer was stressed when we meet with the leader of the group, Heather Cumming, and in conversations among ourselves. Heather tried to explain to us the whole healing dynamic of the place. Also, after each of us participated in the ceremony of spiritual surgery, we were counseled not to speak for 24 hours.  We sat at a special table during meals to ensure this and were silent in our rooms and the places for prayer on the campus. Heather also gave us advice on how to continue this prayerful dynamic back home since healings often take place over a period of time.

            In sum, I can say that this was a contemplative pilgrimage to a sacred place to meet a holy man and I made this trip requesting a healing of our physical and spiritual wounds. The aura of retreat and quiet permeated the whole week and dynamic. It was the same silence and quiet I experience in my daily meditation back home. Here, it was pierced by my making this pilgrimage in a group and being able to share this experience with others having the same goal. We were freed from our daily cares and work of our daily life and had time and encouragement to open ourselves to the divine and communicate this experience with others on the same pilgrimage.  We all had one spiritual goal which united us, that is, prayer and healing.