Presence

ETERNAL SILENCE

I sit in the ocean breeze- gently

cool on a hot summer day.

Sea in the distance – I enjoy

its deep blue. – yellow sand –

green shore grass add to the peace.

I feel a silence – eternal silence –

coming over me – penetrating my center –

still point.  It grasps me –

my breathing adds to the silence.

Silence – I feel is eternal –

comes from eternity.

Like a knock on the door – alerting me -

some one is knocking – divine visitor.

Silence is mysterious – has depth I

cannot fathom – grasp.

I sit in this presence – knowing that

the knock at the door is one of love.

Someone loves me – wants my attention.

So I have to sit in this eternal silence –

leading me – giving me a peace –

fullness that no one can give.

No one else can go so deep – love –

dark – mysterious.

It takes my hand – leading me to a

safe shore – no matter how strong

storm winds blow.

Robert Trabold

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A GENTLE TOUCH:

‘PRESENCE’ IN THE CONTEMPLATIVE PATH

Robert Trabold

I sleep but my soul wakes.

I hear my beloved who knocks at the door.

Song of Songs, 5:3

            At the heart of the contemplative journey is the sense and realization that a presence has entered our life. Without us necessarily looking for it, we are gently touched by someone.  In the midst of our ordinary life and activities, in a peaceful moment of walking in nature or a visit to a quiet chapel or in other moments of pause, we experience that we are in the presence of another. It comes into our life as a robber in the dark of night unannounced and not sought by us.  Someone touches us at our center. As time goes on and we experience this presence more deeply and frequently, we feel that there is a deep sweetness to this advent and a desire on our part to experience it more. This presence revealing itself in my ordinary life is a mystery and has an uncommon element to it.  It appears at the center of my being, closer to myself than perhaps anyone can be or even closer to myself that I am.  On the other hand, despite this immanence, I cannot grasp this presence; there is an aura of mystery to it and it is something ineffable.

           

Contemplatives and mystics through the ages have written about this presence at the human center.  They are overwhelmed by it at the depth to their person and find with time that their whole life revolves around it. John of the Cross states this well in the opening lines of his poem, ‘The Flame of Love’

O living flame of love

That so tenderly wounds

My soul at its deepest center:

 It is a personal reality who is calling the contemplative to friendship.  We realize also that this presence has taken the initiative to reveal itself to us.  We did not look for it but in its own mysterious way, it has made its appearance.  It has touched us in the deepest spiritual sense. In experiencing this presence, mystics are living at the center of all religion, that is, in the mystery of the absolute reality and its being the true root of all human experience.  It is a reality transcendent to us and to the other things in the world but also immanent to us. The question of who God is and who we are become related because this presence is at our center. We cannot answer the question of our identity if we do not take into account this presence at our center and its call to us.

           

If we quietly listen to this call, we see that we are being wooed by the Lord. He is at the center of our person loving us and wanting us to love in return.  As Julian of Norwich so beautifully said, “God loves us and delights to be in our presence, He wants us to love Him and delight to be in His presence, and all is well.” John of the Cross states the same in his poem ‘The Flame of Love’

In my heart where you secretly dwell

With your delightful breath

In glory and good will,

How soothingly do you woo me!

If we reflect on this verse, it stuns us that the divine is wooing us in our contemplation to meet in silence and darkness so that it can entice us to love in return.  The Lord reveals Himself to us and calls us to enter into the rapture of His love. As time goes on, we realize that we are no longer the center of our life with its desires and the importance of our ego; our life now is centered on God and we are subject to Him/Her. We realize that we cannot become our true self and grow into our true depth if we do not give ourselves to this presence. This whole relationship with the presence of God within us is a difficult one because we can never grasp the transcendent.  It is always beyond us. The mystics rightly say that we can know and experience God only in silence and in the night. The center of our life and the question of our identity are related to God whom we can never grasp but whom we can only desire.  As time goes on, the question of desiring the Lord becomes paramount in our lives because that is how we can touch Him.

            The advent of the presence of God in our contemplative path sets up conflicts within us.  First, the Lord calls us to change and struggle against our selfishness and pride things also afflicting all humans.  It is a hard struggle and one lasting all our life. Secondly, as the divine presence grows to dominate more of our life, we lose our taste and liking for many things of life, such as, our work, hobbies, art, etc, and look forward to being in the quiet and silence of this presence. Thirdly, the traditional ways of our praying with many words and thoughts give way to a prayer where we quietly sit in the Lord’s presence with no words. We are just there.  This is a big change and it will time for us to get used to it.  Also, we may lose our liking and interest in the more ritual and ceremonial aspects of religion and find that our religious and prayer life is centered on the quiet experiencing of His presence to us. All the above three changes impact on us and change our life as we grow in our contemplative path.

            In sum, this immediate but obscure experience of God’s presence in our life is the center of contemplative and mystical paths.  This is what we are called to and how the Lord calls and reveals Himself to us. It is something we did not ask for but came into our life.  Many of the mystics refer to metaphor of the spiritual sense of touch to describe this advent in our life. St. John of the Cross in his poem ‘The Flame of Love’ speaks of it as

‘a gentle touch.’ The touch is there and real but it also a mysterious one because God is transcendent and ineffable to us. This touch sets up within us a desire for the divine as we want to enter more into this mystery and presence.  The first two lines of the poem “The Dark Night” of John of the Cross sum up this desire.

On a dark night,

Afflicted and aflame with love.

            As a deer yearns for running water, so my soul thirsts for you, O Lord.

                                                                                                Psalm  42

           

                

           

             

             

           

           



Prayer in the Summertime

SPRING GARDEN

Gentle warm spring air touches me –

brushes quietly my face –

I delight in the scent of fresh cut grass –

perfume smell of the lilacs pervades all –

laughing snow ball bush – throwing

blossoms in all directions.

Happy bird in love calls its mate.

Peace settles over me –

quiet - silent.

Within me, I feel a presence –

mystery –

pervading my whole being.

Voice of God – my Beloved

is silence

so I know who is knocking at the door.

Loveliness of the spring garden

welcomes - ushers in this visit –

let me sit on the garden bench and enjoy it.

But I feel laying on me the injustices - violence of

the world –

my country’s war making –

killing innocent women and children.

Quiet of the garden - gun shots of war

collide –

I feel both within me.

Let me not be discouraged –

I place my hope in my Beloved – the divine.

Life – world - their problems are beyond me.

I rest in the presence of Someone bigger –

He will not forget me and my world –

I leave it in his hands!

Robert Trabold

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PRAYER IN THE SUMMER TIME

Robert Trabold

            For us contemplatives, we try to be faithful to our discipline of silence so that we can encounter God in prayer at our center and still point.  We meditate twice a day each for twenty minutes to have this meeting with the Lord. I live in a house that has a garden and I find that the stillness of the evening garden a wonderful opportunity to have this encounter. But the summer time and the opportunities to be outside offer us other occasions where we can experience the wonder of God in the power and beauty of nature.

            I like the springtime when the first flowers come out of from the winter time particularly the first roses.  Roses love water and the spring rains make them extra big and lush in their colors. Their bigness exudes the loveliness of the spring time. They tend to be smaller in the later summer which is a dryer season. Being so big, their aroma is very strong and one can smell it already at a distance. Portulacas, which are small plants but bloom without end in the high summer time, give me much joy. In their flower boxes, they bloom profusely and exude such joy with their sheer numbers, cheerful colors and fidelity in blooming each day. Also, I am fortunate to live near the ocean seashore and go there regularly to admire the ocean and its changing colors, the yellow sand and the varied vegetation of the shore. These things combine with the vastness of the sky which here on the East coast varies from day to day. Summer time is the time of sharp storms which can also do much damage. I often watch the storm coming with the fierce cloud formation, lightening flashing from left to right, rapid winds picking up and then the heavy downpours of rain which makes one run inside. We experience the power of nature and see how insignificant we are in face of such force. After a while, the storm passes and we are immersed in silence which covers the neighborhood and the gardens. What a difference from a few minutes before when we experienced such downpours, thunder and lightening. We are silent as we stand in front of the power and majesty of nature.

            All of the above can provide us with moments of admiration and prayer.  We are humbled when in the spring and summer, we watch the process of growth start and grow.  It is so vast and complex and returns each year. This provokes within us a sense of gratitude when we see the loveliness of the natural world unfold around us. We have a sense of humility when we see the power and force of the natural world which can have positive and negative effects.  Storms can bring needed water but their force also can cause much damage to the neighborhood and ordinary living. All these reactions can be helpful to us in our prayer life.  As contemplatives, we strive to encounter God in stillness and silence and cultivate a discipline of silence so we can do this each day.  But we can use these other reactions that we have in experiencing the wonder, beauty and power of nature to which we are exposed to in the summer time. They give us other glimpses of the power and wonder of God who is present in the natural world around us. They can bring a richness of feeling which stay with us while we are in silent contemplation. Also, when we are distracted in our meditation, these feelings of wonder can help us to return to the silent presence of the divine.

            As contemplatives, we are committed to encounter the divine in silence at our still point and center. But let us also use other spiritual experiences around us to which we are exposed in the majesty and power of nature in the summer to grow in the rich spiritual life which the Lord calls us to.

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