Friday, January 2, 2015

New Year - Beginning Again



JOURNEY OF MY LIFE

JOURNEY TO GOD


Robert Trabold 

Utter silence – blinding winter sun
gentle breezes – hardly noticeable
surprising warmth for January
silent mystery!
In the distance – pounding sea – waves crashing in – wild
repeating noise – one right after the other.

Are these sounds of my life?  pounding?
 wildness?  no control?
Mystery of pounding of the sea is the mystery of my life.
So many different currents – some dangerous
others easy to swim in.

Utter silence of the day is utter silence of God
the Beloved.
Crashing ocean cannot take away silence of the Divine.
Stillness permeates all – it frames noise - pounding sea
frames currents of my life.
How does it do it?  mystery?
Let me not ask too many questions!
Better – let me feel the Presence in silence
Presence of the Beloved.
Like mysterious pounding of the sea,
my life pounds in mystery
sometimes painful – other times with smiles.
Let mystery be dark - dim
Presence of my Beloved is there.
He will not leave me alone.
God hovers over all!

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BEGINNING – AGAIN


Robert Trabold




            As we journey on our contemplative path and prayer, we sometimes get the feeling that we are making no head way. Obstacles arise and many of these may come from ourselves discouraging us. We wonder if we have made progress in our contemplative growth during the years. Lest we get discouraged and give up, let us remember that we are humans and although Jesus says that we should be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect, we will not lose our humanity until we are in eternal life.  Also our prayer growth is complicated because it is a struggle to focus on the divine presence at our center each day and God’s graces can also vary. At times we have much consolation and other times our prayer is like the Sahara desert. The important thing for us is to shift our attention from our stumbling and try to focus on Jesus who is our Beloved and he will give us the strength and perseverance to be like our Father in heaven and to grow in contemplative prayer.


            First, in relation to our humanity and how we conduct ourselves in the world with others, the challenge and struggle to overcome our selfishness and pride is a thing that we will always have to face on earth. At times, we feel that we have made much progress in following the example of Jesus and how he related to the people around him. Suddenly something happens in our life and we see that we have not grown in love and compassion for others as we thought we did. Our smallness and missed opportunities to love and help our neighbors stare us in our face. We believed that we have moved beyond them but they are still part of our human baggage. The struggle to overcome these faults and be Christ like will not leave us while we live on earth and it is important for us to always keep our eyes on Christ who will ultimately get us through life and grow in his example. Shifting our attention off of ourselves and putting our hope in Jesus gives us the strength and confidence to begin again and continue on with our journey despite the many curves in the road. Our strength to grow and preserver in our contemplative growth comes from Jesus and not from ourselves. This is not to say that our efforts are of no avail but in the long run, we have to keep our eyes on Jesus who knows our weaknesses and who is good shepherd always leading us on with his encouragement and example. Despite it all, he will make it good for us.


            Second, in our contemplative prayer, the inward journey that the mystics talk about is a complicated one and has us ask questions of where we are going and if we are making progress in the contemplative path? Needed is a discipline to be faithful to our two mediation periods daily and try to use the various techniques such as the mantra to bring ourselves to focus on the divine presence within us.  Despite our good efforts, many times we cannot control our intellect and mind which wander all over the place and inhibit our ability to focus on the divine presence within us. Also, we do not have complete control over our schedule and may have difficulties in being faithful to our two daily meditation periods.   Life brings upheavals and these can preoccupy us and hinder us from focusing on the divine presence in our prayer. The mystics alert us that God’s graces can vary. At times, our meditation can be very warm and it easy to rest in the divine presence; other times, God seems very distant and absent. Here again, in the ups and downs of our contemplative prayer, let us to keep our sights on Jesus who calls us to such an intimacy with Him. If this is true, we cannot give up in face of the difficulties in contemplation’s discipline and rhythm. We begin over realizing our Beloved is calling us and he is wooing us to love him. We may not see where the whole road is going but as John of the Cross mentions, God leaves us in the dark so that we do not believe that our growth in contemplation is due to our efforts. The divine is leading us and our growth in the contemplative path is due to God’s strength and presence within us.

            In summary, beginning over is part of our growth in the contemplative path and prayer and it is no easy road.  It is a constant challenge to look at our weaknesses and to have confidence that Jesus will help us slowly grow in goodness mitigating our pride and selfishness. When we fall, we need to pick ourselves up again. And in our journey in contemplative prayer, it requires effort to be faithful to our discipline of growth in meditation and contemplation.  When things get rough and very dry, let us not forget that our Beloved, Jesus, present at our center, is wooing us to love him and encourages us to preserver in this love relationship. For this reason, the challenge is to keep this relationship fresh and not give up on it.

            When things get rough for me, I always remember the words of Julian of Norwich: “God loves us and delights to be in our presence. He calls us to love him and delight to be in his presence and all is well.”  It is remarkable that Julian said these words in the time of the Black Plague in Europe and she seemed to have suffered from this sickness also. But her deep faith and union with Christ always had her begin over and her words should inspire us to do the same.



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